My Christmas Carol Experience

As a kid I used to ponder the logistics of Santa's task. One man and over 6 billion people to deliver to all over the planet. How did he manage to get all around the world in one night? During my following years as a nurse I also used to listen to many people review their lives. Watching "A Christmas Carol" brought on a particularly contemplative mood for me this year and I decided to review my past, present and future around London on my own Christmas Carol.

I was always told that Santa was magic and that anything was possible for him. With so many chimneys, mince pies and various drinks to consume it is no wonder that his Body Mass Index is on the high side. He consumes more calories in one night than most people do in a lifetime.

On Christmas Eve I decided to dress up as Santa again and make a few people smile around London. So, I called a couple of like-minded friends, Nicholas and Hitesh, and off we went with a free hugs sign and a few smiles.

Eighteen years ago I left my job in the city – an experience that saw fun and happiness drain from my life. I worked in a monotonous job in the documentary credits department of a Japanese Merchant bank. We decided to walk through the city at the beginning of our walk. This would be our walk into Christmas past. Our Christmas Carol had begun.

As we handed out our first hugs of the day in the city we were approached by a very stern security guard. He informed us that we had no permission to dress up and would have to leave the premises. We did almost manage to make him smile as we offered him a hug, though he did warn us that he may not respond too nicely if we did.

We smiled and walked on through the streets of the city, with most people ignoring us. However, there were several who managed a smile and a group of tourists who did call us across the road to claim some free hugs. For me it was a reminder of how soul-less I felt in my city-job years.

We then ventured towards Bond Street and a livelier atmosphere. Here we were stopped more frequently as people queued for hugs and photos. This represented our walk of Christmas present. It felt good and we had a lot of fun in the process.

During just a few hours we were stopped and hugged by people from all over the world. People from Scotland, Ireland and Wales stopped, as did those from France, Italy, Greece, Spain, Russia, Lithuania, Poland and Germany. Others stopped from China, Taiwan, Thailand, Iran, Kuwait, Lebanon, Israel Japan, Malaysia, Singapore India and Pakistan. Representatives hugged us from Mexico, USA, Bolivia, Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Peru, The Soloman Islands, Tonga, Australia, New Zealand, Egypt, South Africa, Nigeria and Mauritius.

So, I truly experienced the magic of connecting with people all over the world in one night. As we walked through the streets of London we sang songs, hugged people, witnessed more magic as children hugged us and spread the magic of Christmas to us. We were given free chocolate by a homeless guy, free mince pies from a lady in a restaurant, offered a free ride by a chap on a bike-taxi and given a free gift by one lady.

The feeling of connecting with people from all over the world is my walk of Christmas future. Nothing beats the feeling of smiling, feeling good, singing and making people laugh.

I managed to miss the last train home to St Albans. Normally, this would be a semi-traumatic experience, but not as Santa. Tubes were still running on the Northern line, so I went to High Barnet instead.

On the way I was stopped and asked for more photos and I had a sing-a-long with a group of high-spirited friends returning home. As it turned midnight I found a social gathering of friends in Barnet, who I hadn't seen for a while. I spent the next few hours with good friends, feeling great and was given a place to stay for the night.

On Christmas morning I was picked up by my sister and taken off for a great day with my family. I am feeling very grateful for being alive today.

Carlsberg don't do Christmas, but if they did…..!

What is love?

As I grew up my understanding of love was that it was a feeling of peace, connection and timeless flow that lifted one's spirits to soaring heights. However, on a more practical level, based on the fact that I loved my parents, love was an evolving package of mixed emotions that I experienced when I loved someone else whose mood kept changing. If you truly love someone you will accept any emotional state that they experience – and deal with consequences of any actions that result from it.

At a less technical level – unconditional love has no bounds.

I have often contemplated what love is and had some very different insights and opinions on the subject as time evolved. A friend once told me that it was a short-term hormonal imbalance. Whilst this has amused me for many years I think that it is a good illustration of many people's reality of love.

Love in its purest form is an overwhelming connection with someone or something. The more connections we have, the more love we allow into our lives. There may be those of you thinking that this is easier said than done – you're right. Only those of you who truly release fear by loving your past, will experience more love.

There are some things that are fact....

- Bad things happen
- It is our choice as to what is good or bad
- You have the power to choose to be happy
- Allow yourself to release your past and future and you will be in the now - this is all that is real

True love could be considered in several different ways. For some it is the happy emotional state that appears in fleeting moments of passion. For others it may be a perpetual state of connection with all that is. Either way, nobody has the same definition of what love is.

For many years I had no idea of what love was and became a bit confused. It sounded good but it hurt so much. It's capricious nature was all too confusing for my limited understanding of the subject. I thought that maybe I was just dysfunctional and that love was an alien concept to me. Fortunately, I adapted accordingly and proceeded with my life. The insight that this experience has given me is priceless.

Every experience in my life has led me to where I am now, as has yours. Do you accept the gift of all that has happened in your life to become a person of power? Power to take control of your life, love yourself and give to others by looking after yourself first.

Until you are truly grateful for all that you have you will not have love. Love is a decision – in any given moment. It's a decision to be grateful for what you have and to accept what you don't. Just by being grateful we send out positive energy, which affects everyone around us. By writing to someone and thanking them for being in your life you can transform their day. By telling them yourself you instantly transform both of your lives.

When you love someone you will accept anything they do – the moment that you don't – your love has become conditional. This is an impure love and is based on fear.

Since it is not within your power to change others at will – why not focus all of your attention on the one person who you can change at will - you. Every moment is new and you can decide to be anyone you want at any time.

The ability to really love yourself is the key to unconditional love. Although this may sound pompous or even arrogant, it is fundamental. Personally, the phrase "love yourself" had many negative connotations from my school days. These had to be released in order that I could love myself again.

A simple exercise is to close your eyes, take some deep breaths, smile and send love to your past. Thank your past for creating you and allowing you to love. Do this for as long as you like.

In the ever-evolving game of love you will find it easiest when you love yourself first. When this happens you may well find that magical things start to happen. I wish you all much love in your quest to accept yourself – unconditionally.